Anton's blog

Unfortunately, I will not be able to go on the 12 Pubs of Christmas pub crawl this year, due to other commitments. This is very unfortunate and I am very saddened by this fact. I was saddened even more when a co-worker shared this invitation that he received from his previous place of employment. This is the 12 Pubs of Christmas for the Actuarial department at another insurance company:

Alright folks,

it’s a fairly long mail here, so the key points are: register a team, and obey the rules!

There’s just over a week to go until the 12 pubs of Christmas pub crawl, and I don’t know about you lot, but I’m getting quite restless, and am itching to get going! We’ve put a wee bit of a slant on it this year, shaking up the scoring system a little, and controversially splitting the crawl between north and south side. The exact route is given further below, but first we must do some housekeeping and cover some of the more intricate yet vital rules that will be in effect this year.

The committee had decided on a raft of complex rules with ever increasing drama and confusion that would inevitably end in total carnage, but since the rules would have been totally impossible for even the committee to remember let alone enforce, we have decided on a subset.

1. It’s Christmas, so dress accordingly. Failure to do so will result in having to acquire a Christmas spirit in another way (a Christmas shot in the first pub)
2. The committee dictate the pace. If we feel that competitors are lagging, or are excessively late leaving/entering any establishment, a forfeit shot will have to be consumed.
3. Anyone that joins the crawl late will have to catch up. In order to do so, a shot will have to be consumed with every regular drink until the competitor has caught up.
4. “Dipping in and out” of the crawl will not be tolerated under any circumstance.
5. Shenanigans will in general be encouraged and may be rewarded with bonus points and or kudos. There is an exception to this rule; if the shenanigans results in the removal of one or more of the group from a pub, all those responsible will be required to have a shot in the next pub.
6. There will be 30 mins per pub, and after pub 6, a stroll through temple bar will provide kebabs and burgers en route. A 30 min total time allowance has been factored in but beware of the pub 7 rule. Nipping off for food at any other time is banned, however bacon bites will be tolerated.

Further additional rules will apply to each of the pubs on the crawl… generally it will be something nonsensical that’s easy to forget resulting in a forfeit of some sort or a shot.

Now for the route (Bonus drinks are in brackets)

17:30 Lannigan’s (Christmas shot)

18:00 The flowing tide

18:30 Grand central (Tequila)

19:00 The lotts bar

19:30 TP Smiths

20:00 Pravda (Jaegermeister)

21:00 Farrington’s

21:30 Mercantile (Mojito)

22:00 O’Neills

22:30 Stags Head

23:00 Market Bar (Sambuca)

23:30 Capitol (Tequila, as many as you can handle)

 
Scoring:
We’ll follow the competitive scoring system which is as follows (please note that the scoring system relates only to full drinks consumed and no other type of “scoring” as some participants may get  confused over):

• 2.5 points small bottle of wine
• 2 points pint of beer, cider or similar
• 1 point half-pint or bottle of beer, shot (with or without mixer), glass of wine, alcopops
• 0.75 Baileys
• 0.25 pint of mineral….FYI Anti-Craic J

All points within the first half-hour in Capitol will count double but only for those competitors who score at least one point in every other pub.

The bonus shots for certain pubs are indicated next to the pub in brackets above. These will earn you 2 extra points if imbibed with your regular drink.

As is traditional, the following rules are in place:

• The X rule of 3 points for the 8th and all successive pints of the same beer / cider/wine will apply.
• The re-revised Y rule where 1.5 points will be earned for the 8th and all successive shots of the same short will apply.
• The Z rule, where competitors simply get points for standing in each pub and whining, remains strictly out of force.
• The XYZ rule, where the individual will score an extra point for every can of Dutch Gold consumed in an alley on the route – the can cannot be opened before entering the alley and must be finished before leaving the alley

An additional rule will apply this time around
The Red-Eye Rule. Any competitor who has an early flight the morning after the crawl (8am or before), and scores 2 or more points in each of the 12 pubs will earn an extra 3 points for their dedication to the cause.

The additional novelty rules (recommended by a pub crawl veteran) are as follows. with punishments in brackets

Pub 1: The first drink must be imbibed in absolute silence, from the moment you first handle the glass until it is empty. (Christmas shot)
Pub 2: No talking about the recession/economy/trade sales or anything of the sort. (cheapest whiskey)
Pub 3: No bathroom break here. (shot of vodka)
Pub 4: No talking about sport of any kind except women’s olympic badminton. (10 press ups)
Pub 5: No talk of study/exams. (forfeit will be democratically decided by a mob)
Pub 6: Moose. Drink with your left hand. (Canadian club)
Pub 7: Last person to arrive sings a Christmas song chosen by the committee. (We’re leaning towards Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” at the moment). Other competitors are forbidden from joining in.
Pub 8: Nobody’s allowed to hold their own drink. (tequila)
Pub 9: You must speak in an annoying American accent… this place is full of them. (bourbon, and not the biscuit)
Pub 10: Group singsong outside the pub… after drinks have been bought. Non participants shall be punished via sambuca. (Repertoire tbc)
Pub 11: You can’t call anybody by their name, or nickname. You can only refer to them using anecdotes, either real or made up. Also, pointing is rude and will also be punished. (Cosmo, because they’re hard to hold and you’ll look like an eejit!)
Pub 12: Well done on making it this far. 5 minutes of dancing are required before any drink is bought… and for god’s sake, put some energy into it (Jaeger-bomb)

And two additional if rather foolhardy ways to earn bonus points:

Since it’s a north-sider/south-sider crawl, anyone who manages to have a pint of cider in every pub will gain an additional 3 points on top of the X rule.
Anyone who has 12 different pints over the 12 pubs can also qualify under the X rule for the bonus points

Teams:
Teams have traditionally comprised of members of the same department with a minimum of 3 members per team.
A team member must score at least 10 points to count towards the team score otherwise points for that individual will be zero.
The winning team is that which has the highest average points tally.
This will be a competitive year, so as was mentioned above in Rule 4 under no circumstances shall tag-team techniques be allowed for the purposes of scoring. Spectators are however welcome.

I have attached a score card which teams will be expected to fill out completely in a strictly truthful and honourable fashion.
A 3 month pub crawl ban will be imposed on anybody who cheats or considers cheating on the evening.

Could everybody please send on their teams to me before 5 on Tuesday please? Unlike the previous committee from the summer crawl, we will endeavour to ensure that everyone is treated equally, and we will register all teams without prejudice (depending on who you are).

Hall of Fame:
The newest inductee into the Hall of Fame will be announced on the night. Lobbying and bribing the committee is allowed only in the week of the pub crawl.

Please forward this onto anyone who I may have forgotten.

Hope to see you there,

NOW THAT’S A PUB CRAWL!!!