The Collider, the Particle and Everything!

I was listening to TWiT this morning and Leo mentioned this article about the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) and it’s never ending quest to find the Higgs boson. For the uninitiated:

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is the world’s largest and highest-energy particle accelerator, intended to collide opposing particle beams of either protons at an energy of 7 TeV per particle or lead nuclei at an energy of 574 TeV per nucleus. It lies in a tunnel 27 kilometres (17 mi) in circumference, as much as 175 metres (570 ft) beneath the Franco-Swiss border near Geneva, Switzerland.

The LHC has been having all sorts of malfunctions that prevent it from conducting a full-scale experiment. So now, a pair of otherwise distinguished physicists have suggested that the hypothesized Higgs boson, which physicists hope to produce with the collider, might be so abhorrent to nature that its creation would ripple backward through time and stop the collider before it could make one, like a time traveler who goes back in time to kill his grandfather.

I have a theory of my own, which is similar to theirs:

The year is 2012 and the LHC finally conducts its experiment and finds the elusive Higgs boson. Since the Higgs was never meant to be found the higher powers retaliate. This is the end of the world and a huge catastrophic event happens, wiping out almost the whole population of Earth. The mankind goes back to Dark Ages and spends the next millennium inventing a time machine.

Once the time machine is invented the people in charge of it hope to prevent the apocalypse by interfering with the past and first send a series of brain waives to the engineer, responsible for one of the magnets, back in time to the year 2008, resulting in ruptured coolant line and a delay.

After this proves ineffective, they send another series of brain waves back in time to the chiefs of the LHC, resulting in general paranoia and increased safety regulations, resulting in another delay.

When nothing changes in their timeline they get really frustrated and send a bird Terminator carrying a baguette (no doubt to implicate the French) to be dropped in one of the ventilation shafts, hoping that the mankind in the 21st century finally get a clue of what is to come.

Let’s hope something worked and got people at CERN all spooked. If the US$ 6 billion project’s only contribution to the society is Internet 3.0 and not the Higgs boson, we should still be happy!

The story described here is purely fictional and I have no clue what will really happen. It is also Copyrighted and all sorts of Patents are pending.